Paths Of Pain
by Jin-Kib
Summary: The followup story to Hating Who I Am, Loving Who You Are. This follows Yuki after the accident that took Hatsuharu's life. Angst. Tears. Struggles.
1. Chapter 1

Yuki stood motionless on the pavement near the road. It had been two weeks since the accident. He sat down and let the side of his head rest on the lamppost where his red and white roses lay. Hatsuharu had left him alone. Again. He could still see the faint remains of his deceased love's blood on the road, illuminated by the streetlights and the full moon shining from above.

He lifted his head to watch the members of staff working in the café who were glancing pitifully at Yuki every time they passed the windows. He hated them. He hated the world. But most of all, he hated Hatsuharu for leaving him when he needed him the most. A tear rolled down his cheek, reaching his chin and dropped onto the pavement. Time had gone so slowly without Haru there. School was just a place he went to take his mind off the pain. Nothing was worth living for anymore.

Hatsuharu's funeral was pitiful too. Only the Sohma family had been allowed to attend. This made Yuki angry when Kyo and Tohru once again had to sit at home. He had left in the middle of the service. That was the respect he had for Haru. He had run as far as he could, and then tripped, collapsing on the ground, tears falling like there was a tropical storm brewing inside his body. He didn't return home that night, instead he climbed up an oak tree and cried himself to sleep. He had awoken the next morning, with tear-stained cheeks and dirty, ripped clothes from climbing so recklessly.

Now, two weeks later, he was depressed, visiting the roadside every night, as if he believed that somehow Haru would rise from his eternal slumber. Yuki was a wreck. He lifted himself off the pavement and walked down the street to the Sohma estate. He didn't care about the risks he ran by visiting. Meeting Akito or bumping into his parents meant nothing. He was no longer afraid of them. He hated them with a passion, a passion that burned deep in his heart, one fuelled by his heartache. The grave they had set Haru under was ugly. It was a cheap stone, grey and dirty, and it was already beginning to wear away from the cruel wind that followed Yuki wherever he stepped. Yuki settled himself down at the foot of the grave, longing for Hatsuharu to appear behind him, telling him nothing happened and that he loved Yuki.

The world was so cold. Why couldn't Yuki have died? Why did the truck not stop in time? Why did Hatsuharu have to die after he finally managed to tell Yuki the truth? Yuki lay on the grave, stroking the dirt underneath him. Children returning to their homes on the Sohma estate whispered behind the graveyard gates, their young fingers pointing to his body, adults muttering words of remorse for him, others calling him names. Yuki believed that the ground he lay on was his broken lover, waiting to be fixed, like some clockwork toy discarded carelessly by a small child.

He heard a rustle of grass behind him. He closed his eyes, hoping the being behind would leave him be. He didn't expect the intruder to sit down beside him and rest his hand on his shoulder.


	2. Chapter 2

This new chapter is for the user 'haruilikeyou'. A new reader who gave me a ma-hoo-ssive kick up the bum. You're stellarrr! () I hope you enjoy this. :

* * *

"You know...he wouldn't want you to be like this, Yuki."

Yuki remained lying down, continuing to stroke the dirt. He didn't care what people thought Haru wanted. All he knew was that Haru was underneath him, and when he was here, he was the closest he could be. The voice spoke again.

"They say...they say that one of the Sohma's have fallen pregnant, and it could be the new..."

Yuki lifted his head. He suddenly realised that Haru was free, no longer a part of the zodiac. He felt angry. Angry that he was still trapped with the curse, and Haru was able to do as he pleased in his afterlife. There were so many things that he wanted to yell at someone, anyone - even to the sky. He was so angry that there was nothing he could do, and Haru's death happened because of him.

"Yuki...you know it's not your fault...right?"

He gritted his teeth and whispered, tears in his eyes, "I...I want to go home...Kyo." Yuki had always despised Kyo, for being the stupid cat. The one who actually wanted to become a part of the zodiac. He never understood how anyone would want to be trapped like he was. Kyo sighed and scratched his head. He didn't want to tell Yuki that he'd seen them...but he didn't want Yuki to feel so alone. Yuki was his enemy, but he was still family. "Come on, Yuki. Let's go."

* * *

Yuki collapsed on his futon. He looked at his ceiling, and tried to remember the last day with Haru. Again and again, the same memory.

* * *

"_Thank you." Said Haru. "How much will that be?" The waiter had replied softly with, "Nothing. It's on the house." Yuki had noticed that the female members of staff were ogling at them as they began on the fondue. And that they were even more enticed when they fed each other pieces of chocolate-dipped fruit and marshmallow. Yuki had managed to dribble chocolate on his chin, and Haru had leant over the table and licked it off, making Yuki blush, and a waitress had fainted from the sight. Haru had drawn back and smiled at Yuki. They both then finished their hot chocolates and sat back. Soon after that, they grabbed their coats and bowed to the staff. That was the end of his memory. Being with Haru had been heaven._

Yuki turned over and fell asleep. Every night he was hit with the crash. He relived it all too often, but it just wouldn't leave him alone. It had all happened so fast...and he always woke with a jolt, tears streaming down his face; breathing heavily. There was a knock at his door. "Y-yes?"

"Yuki...are you alright? I can hear you from my room..."

"I'm**fine**, leave me alone, Kyo."

"But I..."

Yuki heard Kyo's footsteps leading away from his room, and he heard the door creak and shut. He didn't need the stupid cat's sympathy. Especially not when Kyo knew nothing about his relationship with Haru.

* * *

Kyo closed his door with his back, slid down and sat on the floor...thinking. Just thinking.

"_He. He's so lonely. But I can't even reach out to him. Because I'm the filthy cat. I can't do anything. I want to show him love again. He doesn't deserve this. I want to give him freedom." _

* * *

Thank you again to 'haruilikeyou'. This chapter is dedicated to you so please tell me what you think of it, hmm: 

And. This will not turn out like you think it might.

I shall make sure of it. :P

Yaayy. This makes me happy. Perhaps I'll continue writing. I would love to be able to write just poems and stories. Not necessarily fanfictions. But this is not the site to post them, so I shall not. :

Critique is wonderful, it helps me learn. 3


End file.
